(mysterious music) (book thuds into shelf) – Ozool, the secret entrance
to our dungeon is complete. – Yes Draven, with this
secret passage we will be able to clandestinely access the dungeon where we hold captive old
College Humor cast members. – And torture them for new sketch ideas. – Yes, hahaha! – Hahahah! (both laughing) Now, to pick the perfect book, that, when pulled, will rotate the bookshelf. (books whoosh) – [Ozool] Infinite Jest
– [Draven] Norwegian Wood – by David Foster Wallace.
– by Haruki Murakami. – What?
– Are you joking? – I’m not going to activate
our rotating bookshelf to our torture dungeon with
Infinite freakin’ Jest. I’m not a 23 year old sad boy. – Ugh, and you think
I’ll do with a Murakami? I’m going down there to torture Zac Oyama, not tell strays about my sunny
abroad trip to Barthelona. – [Prisoner] We’re so hungry
– [Another Prisoner] Help! – [Man Prisoner] What
about a sketch about Trump? – How bout a classic, something
we can both get behind. (book whooshes) Sherlock Holmes. – Too on the nose, it may
as well label it “Pull Me”. – So I guess that just rules out, (book whooshes) “The Secret”, (book whooshes) “Harry Potter
and the Chamber of Secrets”, (book whooshes) and “Open”,
Andre Agassi’s autobiography. (book whooshes)
– What about the Holy Bible? – No people will think there’s a religious sex cult down there. – Why does it have to be a sex cult? (book whooshes)
Ooh, what about this Chrissy Teigen cookbook? – That’ll be pulled immediately for her delicious tuscan
chicken stew recipe. (book whooshing) (book whooshing) – How about my diary? – Read it, snoozefest, oh and, Draven, I just like
you as a friend I’m sorry. – (scoffs) No, I’m talking
about a different Ozool, does it have to be a book,
what about an object? (candelabra whooshing)
How ’bout this candelabra? – That is so generic. What’s next, you’re gonna tell me you wanna hide the secret entrance behind a big painting of
Saturn devouring his son? – No. – [Prisoner] Raaaa
– [Another Prisoner] Water! – [Man Prisoner] What if
Google Earth was a guy? – Shut up!
(bookcase thuds) That is so basic, you
know what it should be? (sign whooshes) This sign that says “Live, Love, Laugh”. Because the cast members
are alive down there, we love torturing them, and we
laugh when they scream, Huh? – Yes, my mom has one just like
that at her breakfast nook, I love it! – Oh your mother has great taste! – No you nitwit, I’m not
triggering our secret passage with something from a craft store! – Oh. – How ’bout a password? (sign hits the floor) – Pa–Okay yeah, that sounds good. – Open in french, ouvrir. – What about the phrase, “Alcohol, the cause and solution “to all of life’s problems.” It’s on my favorite shirt. – This is the secret tunnel to
a dungeon, not the boardwalk. – What about a bust of
someone really cool. – Like who? (bust whooshes)
– David Foster Wallace? – You pathetic loser! – Screw you! I’ll eat another one of your children. – Oh I’ll have two of yours! – I’ll kill you in your sleep. – “Open”, Andre Agassi
autobio, sign me up! (book flaps) – [Prisoner] Help us!
– [Man Prisoner] It’s so dark. – [Another Prisoner]
(mumbles) the White House! – Ah man I can’t believe it, opened up another secret passageway. (sword fwings) Awaken my steel!