Which Book Should Trigger Our Secret Door?


(mysterious music) (book thuds into shelf) – Ozool, the secret entrance
to our dungeon is complete. – Yes Draven, with this
secret passage we will be able to clandestinely access the dungeon where we hold captive old
College Humor cast members. – And torture them for new sketch ideas. – Yes, hahaha! – Hahahah! (both laughing) Now, to pick the perfect book, that, when pulled, will rotate the bookshelf. (books whoosh) – [Ozool] Infinite Jest
– [Draven] Norwegian Wood – by David Foster Wallace.
– by Haruki Murakami. – What?
– Are you joking? – I’m not going to activate
our rotating bookshelf to our torture dungeon with
Infinite freakin’ Jest. I’m not a 23 year old sad boy. – Ugh, and you think
I’ll do with a Murakami? I’m going down there to torture Zac Oyama, not tell strays about my sunny
abroad trip to Barthelona. – [Prisoner] We’re so hungry
– [Another Prisoner] Help! – [Man Prisoner] What
about a sketch about Trump? – How bout a classic, something
we can both get behind. (book whooshes) Sherlock Holmes. – Too on the nose, it may
as well label it “Pull Me”. – So I guess that just rules out, (book whooshes) “The Secret”, (book whooshes) “Harry Potter
and the Chamber of Secrets”, (book whooshes) and “Open”,
Andre Agassi’s autobiography. (book whooshes)
– What about the Holy Bible? – No people will think there’s a religious sex cult down there. – Why does it have to be a sex cult? (book whooshes)
Ooh, what about this Chrissy Teigen cookbook? – That’ll be pulled immediately for her delicious tuscan
chicken stew recipe. (book whooshing) (book whooshing) – How about my diary? – Read it, snoozefest, oh and, Draven, I just like
you as a friend I’m sorry. – (scoffs) No, I’m talking
about a different Ozool, does it have to be a book,
what about an object? (candelabra whooshing)
How ’bout this candelabra? – That is so generic. What’s next, you’re gonna tell me you wanna hide the secret entrance behind a big painting of
Saturn devouring his son? – No. – [Prisoner] Raaaa
– [Another Prisoner] Water! – [Man Prisoner] What if
Google Earth was a guy? – Shut up!
(bookcase thuds) That is so basic, you
know what it should be? (sign whooshes) This sign that says “Live, Love, Laugh”. Because the cast members
are alive down there, we love torturing them, and we
laugh when they scream, Huh? – Yes, my mom has one just like
that at her breakfast nook, I love it! – Oh your mother has great taste! – No you nitwit, I’m not
triggering our secret passage with something from a craft store! – Oh. – How ’bout a password? (sign hits the floor) – Pa–Okay yeah, that sounds good. – Open in french, ouvrir. – What about the phrase, “Alcohol, the cause and solution “to all of life’s problems.” It’s on my favorite shirt. – This is the secret tunnel to
a dungeon, not the boardwalk. – What about a bust of
someone really cool. – Like who? (bust whooshes)
– David Foster Wallace? – You pathetic loser! – Screw you! I’ll eat another one of your children. – Oh I’ll have two of yours! – I’ll kill you in your sleep. – “Open”, Andre Agassi
autobio, sign me up! (book flaps) – [Prisoner] Help us!
– [Man Prisoner] It’s so dark. – [Another Prisoner]
(mumbles) the White House! – Ah man I can’t believe it, opened up another secret passageway. (sword fwings) Awaken my steel!

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100 thoughts on “Which Book Should Trigger Our Secret Door?”

  1. Wolfking 181 says:

    i dont like new people

  2. Dwindling Dream says:

    Thats the same forehead prosthetic jenna used.

  3. Kat Is kool says:

    Tao high-key looks like Giles from Buffy and it's kinda freaking me out.

  4. Beast Boy says:

    I'd put The Catcher in the Rye because everybody has read it and nobody wants to read it a second time.

  5. William Rakita says:

    No actor better than Brennan. Period. Full stop.

  6. Steven Universe says:

    "Awaken my steel!" Brendan would totally have an enchanted sword.

  7. Michael Tøth says:

    Great job acting under the makeup. Very expressive

  8. Bass Mover says:

    I almost can’t understand what they are saying

  9. Ekrem Kirmit says:

    I would have used an old atlas, no one looks into these anymore

  10. s3cr3tpassword says:

    uh, i need a sequel to this episode

  11. Ben Tate says:

    Can I just get a 24 hour livestream of Brennan doing anything?

  12. Jerome Green says:

    I didn't get none of the references

  13. generalians says:

    The sad part is that this would have millions of views with much better actors. The asian dude is just not funny at all. Maybe hes a good writer, but his acting is stale.

  14. madestmadhatter says:

    "Awaken my steel!"

  15. Nihilistic Gacha says:

    Awaken my "steel"

  16. Aixall says:

    2:15 sounds a little like Neil deGrasse Tyson

  17. RaggedCoffee94 says:

    The book should have been “Trump art of the Deal” then no one would have pulled it

  18. Jesus Leafon says:

    I need like…a series for this…fucking cliffhangers

  19. Graham Harper says:

    Tao knows what the people want. Grade A plot twist 👌

  20. FredIsMyName22 says:

    i'm a 23 year old sadboi

  21. Rougeification says:

    Legit, Brennan is the only reason I liked this sketch…

    Can we get a series where Brennan goes on fantasy adventures? Ooh, and Pat's there – still plotting his revenge on Trapp?

  22. Chris Kelly says:

    I want to see a "if google earth was a guy" sketch

  23. i7want7some7one says:

    This is such a creative topic, and I giggled with joy at the ending. ^.^

  24. Seegtease says:

    Please make a series called "Awaken, my steel!"

  25. okashi10 says:

    Brennan: Actually spends all of his work breaks looking for secret passageways to live out his fantasy dreams

  26. okashi10 says:

    Still living for the Zac Oyama cameos. (80's power ballad)

  27. Dias Amreé says:

    this was quite difficult to watch. this might be one of the worst videos of Collegehumor so far.

  28. Creative Corinne says:

    Tao is honestly a killer writer!

  29. Juan Pablo Gonzalez S. V. says:

    Yes Brandon! That's why u should always carry a sword!!

  30. John Wick says:

    What was the name of the painting? Something devouring son?

  31. DeciNarx N/A says:

    I loved Brennan's line at the end there

  32. Agent Smith : Retro Gamer says:

    You know i don't even question that Brennan carries a sword

  33. Todd says:

    Not really feeling Tao.

  34. Lyne says:

    “what if Google Earth was a guy???” crying

  35. Erik Eastland says:

    I would unironically pay $60 for a Brennan themed adventure game set in CollegeHumor HQ

  36. Theo Lumina says:

    We need to know what happen after Brennan triggered the shelf!!!

  37. Zrin says:

    Indiana Brennan WHEN!?

  38. Utkarsh Detha says:

    Brennan is the new Katie.

  39. Epic scrub Lol says:


  40. Ben Laidlaw says:

    Yes Brennan!!!

  41. Awesome 45 says:

    Damn good Simpsons reference.

  42. kingbarrythegreat says:

    should have been a book with the most brutal puns ever

  43. Hexphile says:

    I can definitely see this happening to Brennan on at least a monthly basis

  44. BadLuckTobby says:

    Brennan, once again showing he is the star of every sketch he is in, no matter how short

  45. IanPB says:


    AYAYAYA! [Aztec Dubstep Intensifies]

  46. Sunil Dip says:

    What if Google earth was a guy

  47. Jot Sengson says:

    Suggestion, how about 'Hereticus' by Dan Abnett. Please notice me College Humor

  48. konohamarutard says:

    If you all love Brennan so much why don't you just fucking marry him already. >.<;

  49. Oma Rumunna says:

    I'm laughing so hard. 😆 🤣 😄 😅

  50. Mohammed Sharukh says:

    2:50 when her parents aren't home

  51. Sanitation Boy says:

    What if Google Earth was a guy

  52. Gunman610 says:

    Maybe subtitles. Because I can barely hear them.

  53. Thomas Pastor says:

    Why do I get the feeling Brennan's been waiting for this moment his whole life?

  54. Donuttheturtle 2.0 says:

    Wait so is the guy Mat killed in their

  55. Kyle Jenkins says:


  56. B Carty says:

    I have literally had this exact question.

  57. Ties de Jong says:

    "What about a sketch about truuUuuUuuUump?"

    You've had your down recently, but I like Collegehumor again.

  58. Howdy Justice says:

    You do need new sketch ideas.

  59. 1AgentTex says:

    Brennan pulls out a sword like it’s normal
    Brennan is precious and we all need to protect him
    P r e c i o u s


  60. Bochinator says:

    Wait Zach’s not dead? He just left so suddenly, I figured one of the new members ate him.

  61. wayfareangel says:

    … whelp, Brennan plays Duck Newton in my head now.

  62. Julien Murray says:

    Tao looks like proZD.

  63. FifiFiachra says:

    Gotta say not up to usual colegehumour standard I'd expect. So bad I felt the need the leave a comment 🙁

  64. Piper Joseph says:

    brennan awoke my steel :p

  65. NubHubGaming says:

    Different style of humor here…some of these new sketches have a different vibe.

  66. Ben Starbuck says:

    wait a minute, they have a secret dungeon where they hold old collage humor cast members?
    I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WE NEVER SAW THEM! I always thought it was some sort of sacrifical rite like the temple of doom or maybe they went back to their home planet. BUT IT ALL MAKES SENSE!

    Edit: Awaken my steel is now the catchphrase I'll be using when sexy times are going down

  67. J4k7193R says:

    Where is part 2

  68. Philigan87 says:

    I’d use C.S. Lewis The Silver Chair, because it includes a secret door but it’s also the worst Narnia book so nobody would pull it.

  69. Will T says:


  70. Darryl Reyes says:

    Just put the index volume of any encyclopedia, you nitwits. Nobody notices that.

  71. ExtremelyOffensive says:

    The secret first episode to the newest dropout exclusive series

  72. badflamer says:

    hey shit, tao actually wrote a funny one. good job.

  73. Isaac Bradley says:

    Is it mean that I don’t like either of them

  74. Golden Garuda says:

    The end was the best! Actually made me laugh!

  75. chris Froat says:

    Hmm it should be a book that everyone has read or knows the general plot of so they don't feel like they need to read it. That way they always pass it over when looking on the shelf. Can't think of one off the top of my head though

  76. Hope Gniewek says:

    Brennan makes anything funny

  77. imINaREDchair says:

    The new cast sucks. I'm only staying for Trap and Brennan.

  78. Edward Nigma says:

    Wish this was true can then they might do some good sketches rather than this shit

  79. AGmarsen says:

    I run into this problem every day smh.

  80. Shawna Ridley says:

    Brennan gets called into a meeting: we've talked about this if you're going into a scary dungeon, leave a note or at least text us to let us know you're going to be late

  81. Game Troll says:

    Hi there

  82. keenan Hatfie says:

    “Good to see they are getting back to their roots and including non-workplace sketches.”

  83. keenan Hatfie says:

    Zac does have good sketch ideas

  84. joseph calavruso says:

    If google earth eas a guy yes do it!

  85. Ethan Witt says:


  86. Armonis says:

    I'm gonna use "Awaken my steel" in the bedroom now. Thanks Brennan.

  87. Sydney Martinez says:

    Just use a book no one wants to read. Just use an encyclopedia.

  88. shihalya says:

    … if grant is down there, it is a sexcult 😉

  89. K S says:

    I wish they’d do a series of stories of what everyone that leaves that channel does when they leave.

  90. Mr. S says:

    Heck yeah brennan!

  91. Bayden Wolfe says:

    Brennan at the end killed me. IT’S TIME FOR A CRUSADE!!

  92. TheRandomYoYo says:

    That Brennan Scene is just fire!

  93. MISSed Bandwagon says:

    I…am all for “If Google Earth was a Guy”

  94. Ace Diamonds says:

    what if google earth was a guy?

  95. Nicole Patronis says:

    This is the most relatable video you guys have ever made.

  96. Renato Corvaro says:

    … Brennan would have a sword on him and be ready for a dungeon for no reason.

  97. jychilly says:

    I know they don't really keep old cast member locked in a dungeon and torture them for sketch ideas. Cause if they did, collegehumor's sketch's would still be funny.

  98. epierce001 says:

    Joss Whedon called from 1997 and wants his schtick back.

  99. Raymond Tang says:

    The bumps on their cheeks really makes me cringe

  100. Marvel. Thalia says:

    Next sketch you guys are writing better be Brennan saving everyone

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