“The Mind Can Never Be Controlled”—”A Mind at Home with Itself” Book Club (2)


– Hi everyone out there. I’m Martha Beck and I am
thrilled today because I am sitting here with none other, a woman I don’t recognize at all, though I’ve read all her books and they all have her
beautiful picture on the cover. And this one in particular
is my new favorite ever, ever, ever, which has been true of all of her books as they come out. But this here, what we’re doing, is a book club of you and me talking with Katie about “A
Mind at Home With Itself”. So, welcome, Katie. Thank you so much for talking to me. – Thank you, thank you. – And for writing this . – Yeah, well, you know we can thank Steven Mitchell for pushing me to it. – I have no idea who you’re talking about. – Yeah, who is that guy? – Somebody you’re
married to, I understand. – Yeah. (laughs) – Whatever, and one of
my best friends, okay. So, a lot of people who
have heard of your work say, “Oh, yeah, she’s the woman who
questions her own thoughts. “Yeah, I’ve been there, done that.” No, you have not been there, done that. This book takes you to
places where Katie goes because her mind has been so questioned that it’s very, very clear. And so what she says is where
we’re all trying to get. A mind at home with itself. And there’s only one mind
really when you get down to it. So when you taste the essence
of what she’s experiencing, your own soul goes home. That’s what this book does, but I wanted to ask
you about each chapter. – Okay. – At the end of each
chapter is a beautiful quote that is pulled out of the book itself. This is what it looks like
at the end of each chapter. This is chapter two and the quote is, and I’m gonna ask you
to riff on this for me, “The mind can never be controlled. “It can only be questioned, loved, “and met with understanding.” So many people, we’re
trying to control our minds, we’re trying like crazy. And now you’re saying it can’t be done. – Well, I invite people to
test that for themselves. For me, it’s not a theory, you know? How could I control my mind? If we could all do that, there’s
be no problem in our lives. But the mind, to me, is like a friend. It comes to be questioned. Otherwise, it comes, often
we believe those thoughts. We believe what we think. And it takes us to some
very strange places. Places that we’d rather not be in. – Yeah. – For one thing, you know, it
can take us into depression. – Absolutely. – Or it can take us into, you know, we all have our own journey there. – Panic, anger, I could
give you a list of mine. – Yeah, resentment. So the mind, as those assumptions come in, we can question them. So I can’t control my mind, but I can meet it with some understanding. Also, it allows me, after inquiry, after questioning my assumptions, it allows me to experience
the mind as it comes in, it’s as though every
assumption or judgment or thought ends in a question mark. So it leaves me in this place of curiosity and what is true and what isn’t. And life shows me I don’t
have to worry about it. It always shows up. And a mind at home in itself … Let’s see, can it control the mind? I love in this stage of
how I experience the mind, just the noticing, you know? As I notice thoughts about the past and thoughts about the future. It’s such a privilege to be aware that this is not real, this is not real, and I see me of the past
and I see me in the future, but that is not real self. – Right. – That’s imagined self, just
past, future, imagined self. So just to notice that and to notice that, because that mind is at
home and it’s self-noticing what’s real and what’s not. – Right, right. – It leaves this mind at home with itself in this beautiful
understanding of witnessing, just witnessing and witnessing, noticing, noticing, noticing. – Let me check to see
if I’m understanding, because replace you, occupy, and you share it so, so well
with us goats down there, you know, but in this book,
you go to places where, you’ve seemed to allow
yourself to show more of what that state is like, so self right now, which
is the only thing ever. We only ever have this moment. So, the apparent Katie
self is sitting in a chair. The apparent Martha self,
sitting in a chair, that’s it. Me afraid of how people will
view this video, future self. Me worrying about my hair,
past self, imagined self. Nothing is real except this,
this, this, this, this, which is already over. – Yeah, and as you say that, I hope it puts in perspective
for all of you out there that can follow that, really it leaves nothing to worry about. – Yeah. So right now where you’re sitting, I would bet dollars to
donuts you’ve got fears, you’ve got regrets, you’ve got anxiety. And, as Katie so brilliantly
said in another book, you know, you work and work and you always just end up
sitting in a chair somewhere. – Or standing somewhere or you know … – Or lying horizontal. And what you’re saying is, so for me, when I first read your work, I thought, oh mind is enemy. ‘Cause self is okay, I’m okay now. But here come my thoughts and they’re gonna scare
the dickens out of me, and they regularly do,
although I have your methods so I can address that, but
what you’re saying is … – You can slow it down
in time and question it until eventually, the questioning
is going on automatically and you’re no longer
working with your thoughts, you’re appreciating them,
you’re understanding them. – Yeah, it reminds me of
the Rumi poem that says, this being human is a guest house, every day you’re a visitor. And he talks about anger and
fear and rage, they’re all … He says meet them at the door
laughing and usher them in. – Yeah. – And what I’m getting from you now is mind is not my enemy, mind
may come armed to the teeth and screaming, but it is
always my friend if I love it. – Yeah. – Like I love everything else
in the world that just is. – Yeah, and we talk
about freedom of speech, but what about freedom of mind? Trying to control the mind,
that’s not freedom of speech or freedom of mind, that is war, fighting against the very thing we want for our citizens, our
country, our world, you know? For us all to be able
to speak up and be heard and be clear-minded enough
to make our own decisions. – Wow. So if you want to support
freedom of speech, you must allow your mind to
say whatever it wants to say. – Yeah, we can always question our mind. – Yeah, yeah. – But to argue with the mind is what we’re actually doing in the world, we’re arguing with each
other rather than listening, and then questioning ourselves about what we’re believing
about what someone says. That is the cause of mistrust and alienation and separation. – So, what I get from that
quote and from that chapter is something brand new to me, which is, even the thoughts that I aim
to dissolve are my friends, and if I love them, they’ll
come in and sit down, put up their feet and end
up maybe having a dialogue that’ll wake me up a little. – Yeah, it leaves mind the
opportunity to enlighten you. For example, if someone says to me something terrible is going to happen, I feel this sense of excitement because I understand the nature of mind and the nature of the universe that everything is happening for me. – Yeah. – And so we’re left with, I
don’t believe in terrible, but my mind’s open to it,
and I certainly have had several decades of testing this. I certainly wouldn’t bring it
here if it hadn’t been tested. There is a way out of suffering and that is to not do war with the mind, but to question it and not
try to get rid of the mind, but to allow the mind
to think what it thinks and question it if you
have a problem with it. – So your mind is your friend and Katie will show you
how to get it to stop spilling things all over the furniture inside your head and settle down. – And I love this chapter particularly, and I hope you all enjoy it, as well. – Oh my God, you’re gonna
die for it, it’s awesome. Thank you so much, Katie. – Thank you, Martha. – Thanks, everybody. – Bye-bye.

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11 thoughts on ““The Mind Can Never Be Controlled”—”A Mind at Home with Itself” Book Club (2)”

  1. Anna yoyoyo says:

    Thank you for this wonderful Video. I just understood a huge thing in these 10 min. <3

  2. Susan Kemppinen says:

    Lovely to hear about the book . The sound is very poor though .

  3. christopher mehling says:

    love these "kitchen table" kinda chats! !……….c

  4. Thomas Martin says:

    she's beautiful

  5. Mrs.Bubba Bubba says:

    Thanks again for this.

  6. Marie-Josée Parent says:

    Martha your hair are great ! and you, you, you are great like your great friend Katie. Thank you so much for being who you are.

  7. Sheila Kirwan says:

    am happily awaiting the arrival of the ordered copy of this book ……

  8. Lolly Nolan says:

    This is the perfect set up. If you comment critically the content of the work your mind is confused. The work is free from being harmed in its ivory tower.

  9. Eric Miller says:

    What if someone has intentionally stolen money from Byron Katie and she can prove it? Does she question her beliefs about the person who has robbed her because the thought of losing her money upsets her or angers her?

  10. katya korolkova says:

    You both so beautiful and amazing!  God bless your souls for caring this message.  Thank you.

  11. Valentina Zaytseva says:

    Such a lively exploration! Thank you both!

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