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Romance Bookstore – SNL

100 Comments



>>OH, SEXY.
BABY, IT’S AN EROTIC BOOKSTORE.>>ANYTHING TO HELP OUR DUMB ASS
DRY SPELL.>>WELCOME TO THE SCORCHED
COURSE ET WHERE FANTASIES DELIGHT.
>>WHAT MY FRIEND CAROL IS TRYING TO SAY IS LET US KNOW IF
YOU NEED ANYTHING.>>WE’RE JUST BROWSING.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING BY JACQUELIN LEVO?
>>HAVE YOU READ THE RANCH HAND AND THE ROW?
>>I HAVE NOT.>>OUR STOCK BOY SHOULD KNOW
WHERE IT IS. JOHN GEORGE.
>>YES.>>ASSIST ME AT ONCE.
>>SURE. LET’S GET THAT BOOK.
>>SHE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.>>OH, JOHN GEORGE, YOU WANT ME.
I KNOW IT, BUT WE’RE AT WORK. WE CAN’T.
A WOMAN OF MY STATURE WITH A BRUTE ACCUSTOMED TO MANUAL
LABOR.>>OH, YEAH.
I’M A BIG BOY. I HAVE A THICK NECK.
BIG HANDS. I’VE BEEN WANTING YOU SO BAD IN
THIS STORE.>>I’M SORRY.
WHAT’S GOING ON BACK THERE?>>OH, THAT’S JUST CAROL AND
DAN. SHE CALLS HIM JOHN GEORGE.
>>WHY?>>I DON’T KNOW.
BUT DON’T WORRY, THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING.
IT’S ALL SHOW AND NO GO.>>I FOUND IT.
HERE YOU GO. I HOPE THIS TEASES AND PLEASES.
NOW, GO. FREE OF CHARGE.
>>IT’S $5.>>HERE.
BETTER BE $5 OF BEDROOM MAGIC. COME ON.
>>HI. I’M LOOKING FOR A FUN LIGHT READ
FOR A LONG PLANE RIDE.>>PERHAPS YOU LIKE THE WORK OF
FEATHER DUBREAUX. JOHN GEORGE!
>>YES.>>TO THE BOOK CASE.
>>LET’S HUSTLE, CAROL.>>QUICK, TAKE ME AWAY TO A
FANTASY. I’M ON AN IRISH CLIFF.
MY HAIR IS RED AND VERY WIDE. IT’S BLOWING IN THE IRISH WIND,
AND I’M KNOWN ONLY AS LADY VELVET.
>>I’M THE GUY WHO PUTS THE HORSE FOOD IN THE HORSE BUCKET.
>>YES.>>I’M DIRTY, AND STRONG.
>>YES. YOU WORK ON MY ESTATE.
>>AND I HAVE THICK STEAK HANDS, RIGHT?
>>SO ARE THEY A COUPLE?>>NO.
THEY’RE DAMN NOT. THEY JUST WORK HERE.
I MEAN, SHE DOES.>>AND HE DOESN’T?
>>NO. HE WORKS FOR HER.
>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?>>SHE PAYS HIM OUT OF HER
PAYCHECK.>>BUT SHE’S THE OWNER?
>>NO, I AM.>>SO HE DOESN’T WORK HERE?
>>RIGHT.>>AND THAT DOESN’T BOTHER YOU?
>>IT REALLY DOES, BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, YOU KNOW?
>>MY TINY PINK NIPS SCREAM IN THE HOWLING WIND.
>>AND MY THICK STEAK HANDS REACH AT THOSE.
>>OH, BUT WE SHANT TOUCH BECAUSE I AM A LADY OF SATIN
GLOVES AND TINY DECADENT CAKES.>>AND I AM A DIRT MAN THAT
KNOWS ONLY SEX.>>TEACH ME!
>>GET THE BOOK! GET THE DAMN BOOK!
>>HERE, HERE. TAKE IT AS A GIFT.
NOW GO.>>NO, YOU MUST PAY.
>>THIS IS TANYA WHITMORE. SHE WRITES FILTH.
>>CAROL, FIX THIS.>>I SHALL.
JOHN GEORGE!>>I’M A CAVE MAN WITH A BIG
GUN.>>OH, AND I’M A HORNY WEALTHY
GHOST. WITH FULL THROTTLE KNOCKERS.
>>AND I GRAB YOUR GHOST BUTT WITH MY TEN POUND HANDS.
>>I’M REALLY SORRY. THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.>>LOOK, YOU TWO.
STOP IT AND LISTEN TO ME. I AM ON HORSEBACK.
LEATHER CHAPS MY SKIN AS I RIDE ATOP THE RED ROCKS OF SEDONA.
[ APPLAUSE ]

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100 thoughts on “Romance Bookstore – SNL”

  1. Gabriel Romero says:

    Mmmm, John Cena has a great looking body! He's very sexy!

  2. Katelyn Rushe says:

    Has anyone else noticed that he's wearing the puffy shirt from "Seinfeld"?

  3. Mena Cajica Solís says:

    'And I'm a horny wealthy ghost'

  4. Cassidy Mantei says:

    If that’s an erotic bookstore why is The Help, The Duff and two books in the Selection series on the shelves?

  5. Panic Chicken the Third says:

    AND I AM A DIRT MAN WHO KNOWS ONLY SEX makes ugly face

  6. Griffith Guts says:

    Lol dirty and strong 🤣🤣🤣🤣 stake hands

  7. ALLY S says:

    “Get. The BOOK!! GET the damn book!” 😂

  8. fairly regretful says:

    tag yourself im the dirt man who knows only sex

  9. John Joseph Pascual says:

    Is the 2nd customer rebecca form.pawnstar?

  10. FemBot says:

    I have never laughed so hard! Bwahahahahaha

  11. Ellio Fermoy says:

    John Gorge?

    And its. JOHN CEEEENAAA!

  12. Jennifer DeLucy says:

    And I am a dirt man who knows only sex!

  13. Aditi Kasture says:

    I absolutely love this…

  14. Gunsandrosalina Padtwo says:

    I NEED THAT WIG no homo

  15. Kunal Mazumdar says:

    Damn, John Cena really look hot and handsome here in that sexy white dress.

    W.t.f. I am typing??? Looks like I am on the spell now.

  16. Robert Cabahug says:

    John cena is my wwe crush

  17. Tiffany Wu says:

    Now that’s the reason why they’re not fired

  18. Bethany Bee says:

    I love this fucking sketch so much

  19. Naomi Graham says:

    Who was Carol talking to when she kept going behind the bookcase? I couldn't see anyone.

  20. black apple says:

    Akhhh..hhahahahhah….😂😂😂

  21. Zubair Khan says:

    Lmao.

  22. Sufiyan Soalman says:

    Who's the actress at @01:30?

  23. MyLife Isn’t Interesting says:

    Why is there a bounce wig just floating called dan

  24. SPICY SHRIMP says:

    Thick steak hands?! That fisting must hurt like hell then. Very kinky…
    💦👊👄😏😏😏🍆🍩🍑
    🎶 wattpad story 🎶

  25. SPICY SHRIMP says:

    "And i am a dirt man who knows only sex!" See, that's what i like. Yum! Yay! 🤤 Beautiful! 👏

  26. Kayn Jones says:

    3:30

    If you let a skinny girl breastfeed you,her milk will only last for one day

    But aidy milk will last a year

  27. Robin Reality says:

    Assist me, at once! Get. The. Book!!! Lol

  28. briankulbaba says:

    John Cena looks like Gaston mixed with Lucius Malfoy

  29. stephen harbour says:

    Get. The BOOK. GET THE DAMN BOOK.

  30. Lydia Sanders says:

    Anyone else notice "the help" on the shelf since when was that an erotic romance novel 🤣🤣🤣

  31. amelia zollner says:

    beck at 1:09: minecraft villager noise

  32. Jennifer Elmslie says:

    0:14 since when was The Help an erotic book?

  33. Epic.Mrs.Epic says:

    I like when John does SNL but loved when he did the MadTV appearences.

  34. Sam Harville says:

    Thick steak hands😂😂

  35. gp g says:

    That feathery forelocks flying funny

  36. Pratisha Dash says:

    Kenan is so cute

  37. Lindalee Law says:

    My heroine, Sarah Connor is back! Please watch T1 & T2 before this new version. She had the best arms, biceps, and screwed over a paych hospital staff ! A REAL woman.

  38. Vilma Kuis says:

    That was soooo stupid.
    And Aidy Bryant is not funny at all.

  39. Anwar Razali says:

    John cena look so gay

  40. Angel Heart says:

    I paused at 3:00. . . . Saw John Cena's face. . . . . And could not have been happier.

    For that face, is the face that knows, that the life of that face has been blown to fucking smithereens! XD

  41. Brandon E. Smith says:

    2:40 – Pink nips. 🤣👍👌

  42. Lauren O says:

    Five dollars for a new hardcover book?

  43. Omega Forever Pahrump says:

    Not even funny snl jumped the shark 🦈

  44. jokerlover300 says:

    Fabio’s looking good nowadays lol

  45. Lorelei Reber says:

    Her bangs were giving me OCD the whole time🤦

  46. Michael Hall says:

    I feel like John Cena made up his own lines.

  47. Markelle Talley says:

    THAT GUY DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY!

  48. Katie Arbuckle says:

    Every Nora Roberts book I have ever read.

  49. nonochan yeppoyo says:

    So funny 😂😝

  50. Candace Shirley says:

    The Scorched Corset I need this in my life

  51. RUN DMC likes to walk says:

    I lost it at the end 😂

  52. Sugar n Spice says:

    1:10 out here sounding like a Minecraft villager

  53. Victor Thiros says:

    Ten pound hands lol

  54. Sara and Summer says:

    her bangs 😂

  55. Danny Williams says:

    i never knew cena likes chubby girls

  56. Farouq Michael says:

    John cena looks like fabio

  57. Bekah says:

    Fabio hair 😂😂😂😂

  58. Bõ.õsBõ.õs says:

    Annn i need to wash my face i believe

  59. Mrkidd Candles says:

    cena look like one of highlander character

  60. Paperman says:

    A Cena le faCena

  61. Katherine Beiler says:

    awesome

  62. Eesh SinGer says:

    is john cena supposed to be fabio?

  63. Eleisha Harvey says:

    I think the most talented actor in this particular skit is aidys bangs

  64. henryst19 says:

    Abercrombie Mad TV?

  65. kaara's mom says:

    Her fucking bangs 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  66. Greg LaPlante says:

    😂😂

  67. Greg LaPlante says:

    John is so funny

  68. Pailey or bailston which one is cuter? says:

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  69. T Reasons says:

    He was in on it, I can't!

  70. skool fruit says:

    I saw twilight on the bookshelf

  71. Miguel Felipe Calo says:

    Didnt see one so here it goes:

    I don't get it, she's talking to a wig?

  72. jorge miranda says:

    I think John Cena's character is supposed 2 b based on FABIO?he used 2 b on all those erotic novel covers

  73. Sarah DO says:

    John George 🤣🤣🤣

  74. Filip lahoda says:

    the most weird thing about this clip is the nasal way the second customer speaks. Got to play it again and again

  75. Sans The Skeleton says:

    1:10 sounds like villager from Minecraft😂😂

  76. Hana Tenshi says:

    "My tiny pink nipps…" xD

  77. K J says:

    “My hair is red and very wide!” 😂😂

  78. Meryem Meryouma says:

    Everytime watch John cena i get surprised by his sence of humor 😂😂😂

  79. mushiwushi tingtong says:

    Fucking 'Russians selling secret weapons to Venezuela' is killing me! Fuck YouTube ads

  80. Webbers4Life says:

    I dont understand this skit. It's just Aidy talking to herself behind a book case…what am I missing?

  81. Spookydeathasian says:

    Whut?

  82. Meaggie B says:

    LMFAO

  83. Meth says:

    Do people in America really go and ask for a generalised book rather than searching for one on their own?

  84. Nikki Purwin says:

    why are there two copies of The Help in an erotic bookstore

  85. Tsetsi says:

    That woman loves erotic romans

  86. Gaming with Abby says:

    OMG John Cena

  87. Gaming with Abby says:

    The way he asked if his hands were like sausages

  88. Gen Racer88 says:

    November 2019?😎👍✌️💙💜🧡💖💗

  89. tee bizz says:

    Hey … I’m a dirt man that knows only sex !!! Hmph .🧐

  90. Saanvi Sai says:

    This looks like that episode of iZombie when liv eats the brain of an erotic writer.

  91. Stevens Gold says:

    Its so funny I watched it over and over again

  92. order of holy inquisition says:

    Karol: Jean-Jorge?
    Dan walks in
    Dan: yes?

  93. Anna - Wedding Voice Anna Déinyan says:

    "Get the damn book" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  94. MaLhen Zuñiga says:

    "It's all show and no go" 😂😂😂

  95. Chris Rousseau says:

    This show has gotten sooooo bad

  96. Anna Marie says:

    Her bangs are so ugh oh gosh😂

  97. Heidi Vining says:

    I think this is just the book section of every Goodwill ever. 😂

  98. Anna Mars says:

    I love John Cena so much

  99. Wario Andretti says:

    John cenas face when he comes out kills me. Looking like Fabio n shit

  100. Count Drunkula says:

    2:40 made me snort tea down me jammies. Though that was the pinnacle. Hell naww. 3:25 has put full throttle knockers into my lexicon for ever. I needed my heart pills after that line, and I'm not even on heart pills.

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