My Au Pair Horror Story | A’Tavia Tatiana


Hey everyone my name is A’Tavia and i’m
here to share my Au Pair horror story Au pairing is already a crazy wild
concept that we have embarked on and some families out there absolute
trash like trash more than that garbage that sitting
outside my window right now like absolute trash
so I’m gonna share my Au Pair horror story so you guys can know some tips
and some red flags to look for so you can know whether you need to leave or
you should just stick it out I want to tell this story because I’ve never told this story to anyone like not the full story I’ve told it in parts but it’s
kind of one of those things that I just put in the back of my mind like to
forget about it so when I had to come up with ideas for this video I was like oh
crap, they were more trash than I was giving myself credit to say aloud. I
sometimes I felt bad for the ways that I felt about them even though I know I
didn’t like it. Does that make sense? are you in that same boat. If you’re in that same boat keep watching this video I’m telling this because I was an au
pair of who was like oh you know they’re not that bad I could manage and then it
progressively got worse and worse and I stuck it out for seven months. I stuck
with a crazy controlling family for seven months of my life. please y’all
don’t be like me. Please. I didn’t know I had any other options so I stuck it out
there are options y’all, y’all could always go home y’all can it’s not
worth it I’m here to tell you it’s not worth it.
alright so let’s get into the story I was always interested in being an au
pair. I had this other friend who took French classes with me and we always
fantasized about coming to Paris and doing something and like volunteering or
we found out being an Au Pair is an option so after high school I always had this idea in the back of my mind, but I never really thought it could happen So you know, I’m at this point in my life where I’m like miserable I had this nannying job that I just got
fired from that was no reason of my own and then I was going through it
with my mom at her place I was just in this not good point in my life so when I
got fired from that nannying job I’m like okay all right this obviously means
it’s time for me to do something dramatic and extreme with my life so
literally I just went on I started looking for families, I started
looking into Au Pairing and that’s when my search began because I was just at
this point in my life I’m like okay I don’t need to be in America why am I
still in America I need to go so I already went in with that mindset of
like I need to get out of here I need to escape I need to escape all this. I was
honestly looking to Au Pairing as an escape. I wanted to be in Paris so I
went on AuPairWorld, I was very desperate at this point and I started
searching for families in France and then I found this one family they had
three kids a little girl and two older boys and then it was mom and dad and
they seemed okay they seemed fine I looked on their profile. Honestly we
had nothing in common we had absolutely I don’t like sports I don’t care about
sports I don’t care about playing sports they had two older boys they were a very
sporty family. That’s not me I’m artsy, I’m artsy I like to to draw and go
to fashion shows I want you to draw me like one of your french girls but I was
still like okay I don’t know what Au Pairing is maybe we can like have a
family bond and you know be cute and cozy together. That was also red flag you
should really find a family who you have things in common with honestly it’s
gonna make your life so much easier. So I speak with this family, I speak with
the parents first of all when we’re skyping we have I think one Skype call
so they were my first family that was Paris. They weren’t even in Paris they
were in Boulogne which is like right outside Paris but they wasn’t in
Paris and they always trying to tell me they were in Paris. You know how families do. Oh we’re right in Paris you know right, right near the city center, they be like 30 minutes out but girl, girl you ain’t in Paris. Just tell me
what’s up so I can not get my hopes up but I digress. They basically offered me the position I think that same night after we ended the
Skype call I don’t remember all the details but they were like hey we would
love you to come to our family they seem nice and sweet so I was like oh my god I
got a family in Paris oh my gosh my life is complete. Sike. I was really
ready to accept anything there was no videos on au pairing there’s no
information that I found at the time I didn’t know about APOP at the time.
I got fired from my babysitting job in October 2016 and then November 2016 I
started looking for families and then December 2016 I was supposed to leave
because I just accepted that family I think that the dad worked in… gas
and the mom I have no idea what she did maybe she told me at one point I don’t
remember all I remember is that she was always home and I was always home and we
didn’t get along so you can imagine but we’re gonna get in to that the first
week was fine I don’t remember much I just remember I had to take the kids to
activities of course I have to walk to their school which is like a 20 minute
walk every day but there the came points in this whole thing that was little
things the mom started to become more demanding and the dad started to get
more angry with me the kids stopped listening to me like in the beginning
everything was fine I thought we were gonna have good relationships you know I
had a four year old girl who wouldn’t stop crying whether her parents left of
course that happens all the time but then I had to deal with two older
boys and had to try to get them to sleep. I do know that in the contract it
did say that I was going to be working my Monday through Friday and also
two hours on Sunday I do completely remember signing that
contract and I agreed to it so I would work my normal hours when Saturday came
the one day that I had fully off the parents would always every
week they would ask me to babysit and on top of that they already asked me like
babysit on a Tuesday that week or something like they would ask me to
babysit every single week every single Saturday and I didn’t know I
didn’t know I could say no and I had no idea I could say no so I would just be
like okay cool fine I’m gonna work on Saturday and then
on Sunday I also had to work in the morning so I started to notice that I
didn’t have any full days off I mentioned this pretty early on to
the family I was like okay, I feel like I’m working too much can you guys please
give me at least one full day off and I brought this up to the dad and you know
what the dad said to me, he was like you mean it’s in the contract that you’re
gonna be working five days a week and Sunday I mean we give you 24 hours off I don’t understand what the problem is and I’m like when do you guys give me 24 hours off I don’t have a full day off what are you talking about
and he told me, you know when you work on Saturday night you have a full
24 hours from the time that we ask you to come back in for work on Sunday morning. Excuse me… 24 hours as in me leaving work, sleeping, until the time
that I get back up to start working for them again. Pft, girl. And I knew that that was not right but I sucked it up and I moved on
with my life that was like one of the very early instances one of the very
early instances like I said was always at home I guess she was on pregnancy
leave and I had no idea she was pregnant I had no clue until like three or four
months in when their old Au Pair came back to visit them, and the old Au Pair is like: Oh, when are you having the baby? The baby? You’re going to have a full baby you
ain’t tell me? A screaming, crying, baby and you ain’t tell me? girl I was like what in the
world that I get myself into so I also noticed a lot of things with
the mom in particular she was like always on my case always riding my butt
there was even a time where I had to fold the kids clothes I had to get them
out of the like laundry take them out, fold them put them in their room I would
do that during my work hours as a normal person would I would do it during my
work hours and the mom came to me and was like, oh no, you
can’t do your work during work hours. You need to fold the clothes, put them away, while you’re off. You can’t do your work during your work hours, that makes no sense that makes no sense. Oh girl, I’m getting mad this video gonna be kind of long I’m so sorry
Edwina and Hanna. Cause now I’m getting I’m getting into it now girl when there
were issues so if I told the mom something she would tell her husband and
he would come yell at me it was it was a total of hierarchy. Because the kids didn’t
listen to the momma the kids didn’t listen to the grandma they only listened
to the dad and the dad was never really there. the dad was always working
so you can imagine that relationship I can tell you guys what I did wrong I
didn’t speak up for myself ever I just accepted every single thing that
they told me if I had a little issue and I never wanted confrontation so I would
just ignore it and like push it down and be passive-aggressive about it and like
rant to snapchat about it also I went back in the emails that we had
early on when we discussed the contract and the email said oh we’re gonna pay
for 50% of your Navigo when I arrived I think I was making 70 euro a week. They
didn’t pay for any of my Navigo they never even mentioned in seven months
they never mentioned my Metro pass when I first arrived
they were like oh it’s too late for you to get a student Navigo and they never said
anything else to me about it and ever ever I had to pay for my own phone I
paid for my own Navigo at full price every month I was only making what
70 a week girl I was broke I never saw the parents clean up anything if I had
to work on a Sunday night they would leave the kitchen dirty all day long and
then would I had to start working of course they would make me clean it and
that’s how I knew that I wasn’t a part of their family I feel like I stayed for
seven months because I didn’t know that I had other options I didn’t know that I
can rematch it was a scary thing I’m an American I was escaping my family
from America I didn’t really want to go back there so I didn’t even think of
that as an option I didn’t know how to go looking for rematches I had no idea I
was having a bad time with them so I’m like I don’t want to go into another
family and deal with the same thing so I just stuck it out I was like okay maybe
maybe I’ll get used to it maybe it’ll be okay and I was miserable for seven
months I was literally depressed for seven
months of my life being stuck in that prison cell of a room and dealing with
all the stuff that comes with being depressed for seven months that’s my
story And If I could give any one piece of advice to you is trust your intuition
if something doesn’t feel right you should talk to the family about it and
if they don’t respect or if they don’t even give you any options to like help
make it better for you you should leave if you have the right
to leave do not stick it out if it’s gonna make you miserable if it’s gonna ruin
your experience being in Paris (or anywhere) leave please for me and for you and for the
rest of the au pair community please comment down below if you
have anything that you’re kind of skeptical about you don’t really know if
this family is good or not comment down below because the APOP community we’re gonna let you know what’s up alright guys so if you like this video
make sure you hit that like button so we can know that you liked it and keep
making content like this also hit that subscribe button down below show your
support for the APOP channel for all Au Pairs out there APOP has really
changed my experience being an au pair it’s a great community to be a part of
so make sure you have a subscribe button so you can join the community of APOPers
so if you guys want to check out my own personal channel my name is
A’Tavia Tatiana and you can follow me I do fashion and I new vlogs and I’ll link
my channel somewhere or one of my videos somewhere on this video or down below
make sure you subscribe there as well to keep updated with me and until next time
bye APOP so if you want to hear someone So if you wanna hear someone else’s Horror Story, Edwina actually
recently shared hers as well so make sure you hit that link that’s gonna pop
up somewhere there was one time I left like one bowl in the sink one bowl and
the dad came up three flights of stairs he knocked on my door and was like you
left a very dish in the sink go clean it and that’s fine knew that I wasn’t a part
of their family

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14 thoughts on “My Au Pair Horror Story | A’Tavia Tatiana”

  1. Au Pair, Oh Paris says:

    Show A'Tavia some ❤ Like, comment, and smash that subscribe button to make us jump in the air and yell "Woohoo!" Do you have a horror story?! Comment "YES" down below!

  2. CHEROFINE says:

    Watching this and I can totally relate! Feeling like you have no choice while you actually do. Being unappreciated and taken for granted..
    **I will be doing a series of my au pairing story too on my channel.**

  3. Amy Isaacs says:

    I’m currently an aupair and I can totally relate been at it for 10 months

  4. Kymberly says:

    $70 euros for working 7 days a week!!? Girllll noooooo 🤭 But I’m saying this when I only got 80 and had to pay for my phone too lol Also, kind of a specific question but did you ever feel any different being an aupair of colour in Paris because I kind of experienced some issues with this when I took my kids out compared to my white American or European aupair friends

  5. Sabi Mthethwa says:

    Just wanted to give a big shoutout to this community. I will be moving to France (Sergy) to au pair for the first time. Thanks to this channel I feel well informed of what to expect and the general standards of au pairing. Thank you guys for all the hard work and information.

    Love from South Africa 🌍

  6. Emi Nov says:

    I have pretty similar horror story. I was in a family outside of Paris and it was horrible. I was never paid on time (I had to go to my host mom and almost beg for money 🤣), I wasn't paid for Navigo pass as well, I could go to Paris only on sundays and I had to come back around 19h and text my host mom where I am and I if I was late (on my f r e e day) she would yell at me, I would only get dinner (no other food) and many many other things… I legit felt like escaping prison after coming bach home 🤣🤣🤣

  7. Bridget Pearson says:

    Hey A’Tavia! I’m so glad you got out girl!! Well done for being strong for those months even thought it must’ve felt awful. I’m in an extremely similar situation atm with my host family.. I’m blessed to have a support network and having an interview with a new host mom soon so things are looking good ☀️ Do you have any tips or advice ?

  8. Amy Isaacs says:

    Need to see more of these! It makes us feel
    Like we are not alone. Thank you so much

  9. Amy Isaacs says:

    In the Middle East families will sugar coat the word AuPair/nanny what they actually need is a servant. I’ve visited several homes with my sponsor and all the nannies are referred to as “khadama” which means to serve in Arabic and they are never called by name. They are not accommodated appropriately, 10 women forced to sleep in one bedroom/ sleep in the children’s bedroom floor. Most of these women are from the Philippines or India typically and they are bound by contracts, have low salaries and they can’t escape the ghastly abuse they endure because they can’t afford it and if they want to leave they will have to pay for their airfare themselves which they can’t afford. They eat leftovers after the families have finished eating, they aren’t allowed to speak just be spoken to. The endure verbal sometimes physical abuse. It’s horrible the things I’ve seen here.

  10. Black Beauty says:

    When I was starting my aupair journey I was having a Skype interview with this family and everything was great till the child came into the conversation bad asked the dad who I was.
    Dead ass he looked at his child,pointed at me and said," the monkey!"
    Click! I instantly hang up!

  11. JennyLittleBird1 says:

    Love this video! I’m an au pair and the family said I would do a language course and they have now said it’s too expensive and doesn’t fit into their schedule! I can’t bare to bring it up again cos they just shrug it off! Also they described the City where I am as vibrant with lots of things to see and do, I get here and it’s a 30 min, expensive train journey to anything worth seeing, I should have done more research but I assumed as it was a city things would be accessible! I feel too polite to mention my issues because they seem kinda depressed and stressed with the work load of 4 kids, 3 under the age of 4 and an 11 year old!

  12. Anna Németh says:

    Hey guys! I've been thinking about commenting for a few weeks now, and now I've decided to actually do it. So I am Anna, and I am from Hungary, and I've been working in the UK as an au pair for almost 2 years now (with the 3rd family now), and I just bumped into your channel a few weeks ago, and started following you, and I was curious about how au pairing works in another country. You are all amazing! What you're doing, and helping girls out how to move as an au pair is brilliant! I've had a terrible story as well. Shortly, in my first host family there was 2 boys with autism, and I didn't know about it. Many times I didn't get paid, work throughout the weekend, the hardest was that they didn't let me go back for 1 weekend for my best friends wedding. In the end when I told to the parents, that I can't do it anymore, they said that I did nothing in those 3 months, when I was there, they paid for nothing. I'm a shit person, and I should really think about it twice to become an au pair again. They could really ruin my self-confidence… But firstly, (this is my opinion) I would not recommend aupairworld for the first time for starting au pairing in a foreign country. I came with an agency, and when I told them what they were doing with me, they moved me to another family as quickly as possible. I could visit a few of them face to face beforehand, and chose. So the thing is, when someone comes with an agency, they stand right behind you, when the family is not correct. So then I changed, and I've had a wonderful year with my 2nd family, and then I did choose my 3rd (current) family from au pair world, and just because I knew that I can visit them before saying yes, and they are amazing too! Most of my friend who had an awful experience was through aupairworld.
    What I think was really brave that I didn't run away straight away, I did cry every night for 3 months for being used as a slave, but I didn't go home, because later on life can get that shit as well, that you have an awful boss/job. And maybe a bad experience can give you mature thinking, and later on when you'll have a bad experience anywhere with any job, you'll be able to handle it.
    Once again, you're guys are awesome!♥
    And I would love to meet up with you guys, if it's possible, I might take a trip to Paris during the spring time. 🙂

  13. Katrine K. Petersen says:

    Thank you for sharing your story! ❤️
    I’m currently in the process of doing a rematch myself. I’m in London though! But what you said about your host kids not listening to their mum, and the dad never being home… That is literally my host family right now! The 6-year-old made his mum cry TWICE this week, and she broke down (in front of him) saying something like “Ohh I can’t do this anymore” and I’m just sat there thinking, well, how do you think I’m feeling 😓 They are nice people, but if they can’t even control their own kids, then how am I going to? I don’t feel qualified to handle everything that’s been happening in this house for the past couple of months… Anyway, sorry this got long, but thank you for your story girl, it always helps to hear that you’re not alone!! Hugs from London 😊

  14. Easy Rock says:

    I like all your videos..It help me as a aupair.
    Im a filipina and want to get a student visa after my aupair program…I just want to ask if you know a country here in Europe that is not expensive to get a student visa because I really love to stay here in Europe.Im currently in Denmark …

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