One of my favorite spiritual
writers Mark Nepo has this phrase “moment of lift”
in one of his books, and it’s that moment of grace,
you know, when you’re having a
conversation with somebody and you don’t really kinda know
what it’s going to be about or even maybe
a hard conversation, then you get this moment
of grace that just sort of lifts things
up and elevates it and you’re able to have
an opening for a hard topic. I’m about to be sitting down
and talking with… – Melinda Gates.
– About her book “The Moment
of Lift.” – I’m Kind of fangirling
– There’s empirical fact that she has saved hundreds
of millions of lives. So ready
for this conversation.( music playing )– Here. Come on.
– Hello. – Hi.
– Nice to see you again. “Booktube,”
it’s such a vibrant community
here of folks who come together on YouTube
who really, really love reading and we love books
and we really love learning, so it is very exciting
to be here to get to talk about your book
“The Moment of Lift.” So, firstly,
thank you for writing it. – Thanks, Uzo.
– Secondly, this title
is so powerful. Where did the title come from
and what does it mean to you? It’s sort of has two meanings
as I write about it in the book. One is that my father worked on
the space launches, the first Apollo mission,
and when I was a little girl
in my jammies, it was like the only time
my sister and I could
stay up late. We’d drive across town
to his friend’s place who’d worked on
the Apollo missions. And we would wait and wait
and wait for that rocket
to take off. And I titled my book because,
you know, that moment when
the engines are igniting… man: Two, one.…and the earth
is starting to rumble,but then finally the rocket
picks up against gravity – and goes to the moon.
– man: Liftoff.
We have a liftoff. Melinda:For me,
it was always this thrilling
moment as a young girl.But as I wrote this book,
I started thinking about
all the things that hold women down,
that gravitational pull, and how do we come together
to get the lift off of the earth
and off of these issues
for women. Lift us all up. What inspired you
to write this book? Like, why is this
“The Moment of Lift”? I’d been thinking about writing
this book for a little while, for three or four years. But it just seemed like
this was the right time. We have this opening
that’s been created
by so much conversation, but really by the Me Too
movement that went worldwide
really quickly. And we need to take advantage
of that window while it’s open because otherwise
it will close, and we won’t actually
lift women up. So it felt urgent for me
to do it and do it now. Hey, I’m Ingrid,
and my YouTube channel
is IngridNilson. Today I’m going to be talking
about the books that have
completely changed my life. I know that I am the woman
that I am today because of
so many books. Especially books written
by women.( music playing )Advice to men watching
at home. – Support your partner.
– Your current read. Nelson Mandela’s
“Long Walk To Freedom.” What did you want to be
when you grew up? I wanted to be
a businesswoman when I grew up, and I wanted to work
in technology. Check.
And the last one, advice to
women at home watching. Be whoever you want to be. I wanted to know
how do you stay off on tech because I know that that’s
a battle for many women. Yeah, and I talk about it
in the book. I think I had–
not think, I know. I had lots and lots and lots
of doubt for many, many years. Am I credible?
Do I know enough? Do I– you know,
I’m working at Microsoft.
Do I have the technical chops? I have a computer science
degree. Of course I do. I think society,
if you work in pretty male
environments or just messages
society gives women
over and over again, it tells us you can’t have
that role. You don’t see anybody like you
up there, so you must not be
good enough, you know? – Mm-hmm.
– So we have to fight
against that as women. And we need to help pull up
the young women. You all do, too,
who are even younger than you as they start to rise
and come out into the workforce. You have an example in the book
of when you were starting
your career deciding to work at IBM
or at Microsoft. And I just thought that moment
was so interesting. Very much like
where did the legend begin? Yeah, so it was the last year
of my MBA program,and I had had some summer
internships for IBM.They made me a job offer,
and I said, “Look,I am gonna look at other places
and then I’ll come let you knowlate spring of my MBA year
whether I’m gonna take
this job.”And so I turned down
all my other offers, but I still had this callback
from Microsoft to go do. So I cam home on spring break,
went through Dallas, which was where
my hiring manager was.
I grew up in Dallas. And she said, “Are you ready
to accept the offer with IBM?” And I said, “Actually,
I have just one more company.
A little company, Microsoft.” They’d just gone public
in Seattle. And she said,
“Do you want a piece of advice?” And I said, “Sure.” And she said, “Well,
if they make you a job offer, you should take it.”
And she floored me. This is my hiring manager.
And I said, “Why?” And she said, “Well,
because your chance as a woman
to advance would be meteoric.” And so it sticks in my mind
because we woman have to be
for other women, right? – Yeah. Yeah.
– I mean, I see these young men
graduating from college are going out in the community
and there’s just these built-in
networks… – Mm-hmm.
– …that lift them up and take
them off and offer them jobs. – Right.
– And so how do we open
our networks and how do we be
for everyone else? That was a fabulous
piece of advice. And then I went to Microsoft
for my interview.The salary they offered me
was so much lower than the rest
of MBA school.And I said, “Look,
I don’t care.– I love what this company
– Right. Now I happened to also get
some stock options that I didn’t think
would be worth anything,
but they were. But I loved
what they were doing. They were changing the world,
and that resonated with me. man:
What can we expect
over the next few years? A machine on every desk top. – The idea of a little
– I know. Right?
Taking a chance on Microsoft. It was less than 1,400 employees
when I started. – Right.
– It was tiny. We were in
four little buildings outside of Seattle. Hey, I’m Ariel
from the channel Ariel Bissett,
and I love books. For as long as I’ve understood
what feminism means, I have identified
as a feminist. I think it’s so wonderful
when authors are able
to highlight other voices. And Melinda Gates did such
a great job of tying that back
to her own experiences. I wanted to do a bit
of a deep dive into one of the issues
that really made me think a lot. – Mm.
– You talk a lot
about technology. We all have a phone
in our pocket. So many of us are on
social media. How can we use social media
to empower women? Well, I think we can all use
our social media channels to talk about the issues
about women that we truly
see in our lives – and that we know
– Mm. So, for instance,
if you care about paid family
medical leave, which the U.S. is the only
in the world that doesn’t have it,
if you care about
that issue, you can amplify it,
you can talk about it. And then you can also
email your senator’s office
in your state and say, “I want this passed
for men and women in my state.” I think that we have to look
at the barriers that hold
women down. And in the workplace,
it’s often discrimination
or sexual harassment. – Mm-hmm.
– We know a woman,
if she’s harassed in her job, she leaves at an 80% rate
within the next two years. So we wonder why women
don’t rise to the top. So many have been harassed
in one way or another. They don’t stay long enough. They move ’cause they don’t want
to stay in that environment. So we have to look at things
in the workplace like that. We have to look at equal pay,
leadership roles in the
workplace, and then we have to also look
both in the developed world and the developing world
at this unpaid work that women do
every single day. Yes, women do 90 minutes more
of unpaid workthan their husband does
every single day.And in countries like India,
there’s an enormous gap.A woman does five hours
more a day of unpaid work
compared to her husband. – That is enormous.
– Yes. And so over the course,
the average of women’s lives
around the world, it averages out to about
seven years. Seven years of a woman’s life
unpaid work. I recently learned that,
you know, women who are
breastfeeding are spending, like,
eight hours of time a day
breastfeeding. – Oh, it’s so hard.
It takes so long.
– People assume that it’s free. – I know.
– That’s time.
That’s valuable time. Yeah, no,
it’s valuable time. And we don’t even talk about
how hard it is for women. Most women are working now. And in married couples,
the greater majority
are working. And so we have to rethink
the work environment. It has to be okay
for the mom or the dad to go pick up the kid
when they’re sick from school or take them to the doctor
when they need it. You discuss in your book
about a moment where – Bill ends up driving
your kids to school.
– Mm-hmm. And I wanted to know any more
stories that you may have that creates more inclusion
in a marriage. Yeah, I think, you know,
one of the conversations we’ve had in our household
is even about, like,who’s gonna clean up
after dinner?Who’s gonna do the dishes?
somebody’s gotta do the dishes. Luckily, Bill grew up
in a family where he and his sister
did them side by side, as I did with my sister,
so that was easy for him. But one night the three kids
and we were doing the dishes, cleaning up the table,
et cetera, getting everything
in the dishwasher. And then I realized why is it,
like, everybody would wander
way upstairs. Maybe the kids sit and listen
to music, you know. Bill would go do whatever
on his computer. And I’m like, why am I still
down here doing the last five,
eight minutes of stuff? So one night–
I’m not always kind
about things, I have to be honest,
when I’m frustrated. So in a moment of myself,
I put my hands on my hips,
I’m like– They all started to wander,
I go, “Nobody leaves this
kitchen – till I leave the kitchen.”
– Mm-hmm. And guess what?
All the jobs got done
in about three minutes. – Really fast.
– ( overlapping chatter ) And they all figure out
what still has to be done. It’s like they sorta
don’t see it, you know? And I went, like, “Yeah,
you see what needs to be done.” Hi, my name is Sasha Alsberg,
and I run the channel
Abookutopia. I’m actually working
on a book, and it’s actually
going quite well.
( vocalizing ) I’ve written
three books to date, two of them hit number one
on the “New York Times” list, which is super exciting. I was wondering if you could
read the last sentence
of your book – that I have right here.
– Sure. I love how you
had the book title
in the last sentence. – Mm.
– What was the inspiration
of leaving your reader with that last line? Anna touched my life.
She lived in Tanzania. And following her around
for two days and the many, many,
many conversations, she touched me and opened me
in a way about women
all over the world, including the United States
and what we need to do. You give voice
to so many different women
around the world, but there’s so many
difficult stories. For me, it was especially
the chapter on child marriage – where I was just like, “Ah,
this is so brutal to read.”
– Melinda: It’s hard. But at the end of this book,
I left it feeling optimistic.So I want to ask you, like,
where does that optimism
come from?I’ve been lucky enough now
to have traveled for 20 years
through the Foundation.And so often I do come out
of a country with, like,
“Oh, my gosh.I saw, you know, four really
hard things in the last
couple of days. But if you look at large
at the statistics,the world is getting better
for women.It is getting better
overall.It’s moving and it’s improving
in the right direction, but we are not yet still
to a place of equality. – Right.
– How can we be active
in speeding up the progress to the astounding number
of 208 years… – Yeah. Yeah.
– …before we reach
true equality? Isn’t that crazy?( music playing )It just is this eye-opener.
It’s this, you know, it’s this damning,
it’s this daunting figure. For the U.S.,
we are 208 years. And you just say, you know,
that’s my granddaughter’s
granddaughter’s generation. – Mm-hmm.
– Right? I think we have to all
take this up. We have to look in our homes,
you know, and ask for more equality
in our homes if we don’t feel
we have it. – Yeah.
– We have to look in our
workplacesand say, “Okay,
what are we actually doingto sponsor and mentor women?How are we giving women pathways
into these really important
careers in society? – Mm-hmm.
– And we have to look in
our communities and say, “Okay, are the right people
setting policies, and if not, who should be
running for that office, and how do I go out
and volunteer for them
or run myself?” – Right.
– And then I would say
for the developing world, I list about nine organizations
in the back of the book. They are doing incredible work
on child marriage or other issues
that I mention in the book. They’re very credible places
who do great work. For me, one of the craziest
moments was when Warren Buffett,like, donated that huge amount
of money,and you had that moment
where you were like,– “How can I maximize this?”
– Totally. “How can I use this to save
the most amount of lives?” – Yeah. It’s crazy.
– Yeah. I mean, think about it.
If you were spending, you know, $500 of your own money
on an organization. But then somebody you know
gave you 500 and said,“Okay, now you allocate this
where you think it will be
best used.”– Yeah.
– It’s this, like,
huge responsibility, – right? You know?
– Yeah.( music playing )Part of the reason I went
so deeply after this
women’s work was we were ignoring it
as a foundation. We really weren’t looking
at it systematically. And we kept thinking we would
have these effects
with our work. You know, vaccines,
new seeds. But the truth was we weren’t
reaching the women. We were often reaching men,
but if we didn’t look
at the women’s issues,they weren’t getting–
most of them were farmers.They weren’t getting
that new seedthat deals with climate change.That’s pest-resistant
or drought-resistant.So we have to look
at these women’s issues. And so, in a way,
Warren’s money has beenkind of a guiding light for me
and, like,okay, we have to go after this
really hard workbecause it’s how we will use
all of our dollars
really effectively. – Right.
– And you’ve also experienced
what it’s like to not receive support.
I remember reading in your book about the official Vatican
newspaper condemning your work
in family planning. Melinda: Yeah. And you grew up Catholic
and, you know, something that really struck me
is when you said two days later, “I understood why they said
what they said, but I didn’t
agree with it.” – Melinda:Mm-hmm.
– Ingrid:So how do you find
understanding in thingsthat you don’t agree with?We have to look
for the common ground,
and you first have to say, “Does this person
or this organization, do we essentially at the core
share the same values.” And I do think
the Catholic Church, Catholic and social justice
mission, they do care about the poor.When I look at the statistics
between low and middle income
countriesor middle and high income,
to be honest,when women finally have
to birth control,– Uzo: Um-hmm.
– Communities– literally,
countries start to rise. Because then women can get
educated and they can enter
the workforce. So we have to say
where do we share common values, and then how do we move
forward together? What is the biggest thing
you want for people
to take away? Both from “The Moment of Lift”
and then, you know, your advocacy work
around the world
outside of the book. You live this is the point. I want people to take away
that this is possible. It’s not inevitable
that women will rise
and get equality, – but it’s totally possible.
– Mm. And we all have something
to add to help one another and to help women rise. Well, and that’s what makes
a book like “The Moment of Lift”
important. And I really do think
people picking it up
really start to understand the importance of supporting
and empowering women. I think a book club like this
is so powerful sitting around and enjoying a conversation
about this book, so thank you very,
very much for coming. Well,
thanks for discussing with me. This has been a lot of fun
for me, too. I love hearing what resonated
for you, so thanks. woman: Yeah, you activate. Activate! Go! – Can we go party now?
– Yeah. – Yeah.
– Oh! Oh!( music playing )( baby giggling )