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Everyday Buddhas—”A Mind at Home with Itself” Book Club (5)

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– Hi, folks, it’s us again. Martha Beck, and–
– Hey. Byron Katie.
– The amazing. And, we are here with chapter
five of what has become our little video series, “A
Mind at Home With Itself”, which is named after Katie’s new book, which will take you to
places you definitely want to go, places like peace and relief, and joy, and hope. And we’re reading out the quotes
at the end of each chapter, so that I can get Katie’s
up-close and personal explanation of some of these things. Again, if you think you know Katie’s work, this goes further than
she’s gone in books before. And so some of it is, it seems quite audacious at first blush, especially
if you don’t know her work. But let me read the quote
at the end of chapter five, and then let’s talk
about it, because again, this is something that
people would be, I think in our culture, would be shocked by this. Here it is.
– I can’t imagine anyone watching our Facebooks, that would be shocked at anything. (laughing)
– That’s true. We’re shameless. Oh, my God. They’re eating a panda today. No, we’re not, we would never. (laughing) This quote, at the end
of this chapter says: if you see anything in
the world as unacceptable, you can be certain that
your mind is confused. Whoo! Let’s watch the internet
catch fire with that one. If you see anything in
the world as unacceptable, you can be certain that
you mind is confused. That set me free, but it was hard for me to digest. – You know, it’s almost as
though our jobs on this planet are to look around, find
something unacceptable, and then right that wrong. What if, no matter what we, what we saw or heard, what if we understood it? We understood that it is happening for us, and not just, let’s say in, through my own point of view and way of seeing it,
it is happening for me, for you, for the world, and the universe, that it’s all working together for good. For example, if, let’s say my husband, my beloved husband said Katie, I’m going to leave you. The old paradigm, I’d think
oh, he’s going to leave me. I did something wrong. Oh, what am I going to do? Oh, oh, my God. And my mind, you know, I would suffer. But today, I understand
what love is, I understand that I understand what it is. If he says Katie, I’m going to leave you, my heart would just, would just, you know it would just
expand rather than contract, as odd as it may sound, it would feel like how can I support you? How can I help you? And are you leaving me for another woman? And who is this woman? I’d love to meet her. I want to support her, to make you happy. I want to support you to
make, I want you to have a good life. Why?
Because I know what a good life is. No one can cost me what
a good life is, and I want everyone to share that. So why would someone take
their time out to live with me, if that isn’t what would make them happy? That would be me uncaringly say no, live with me or I’m going to suffer. You know, it’s all about me, me, me. That’s no kind of relationship. So, that’s what comes to mind, to my mind when we look at
the universe as friendly. I invite you to question
what you’re believing about the universe, and that
leaves a friendly universe. So you could say that a
mind at home with itself can only see out of that kind of reality, and that it’s safe. It’s safe.
– So there’s this stream of thought that goes
through the human mind, and I think that it has a
lot to do with evolution, that the mind, at the
very base of the mind is a part that evolved in
reptiles and all reptiles and higher, so-called
higher animals have it. And its job, it has one job
and that is to keep us alive by making us afraid. So it’s the fight, flight reflex. And what it does in humans,
and like, once I watched a wildebeest getting chased by
a lion, and it was terrified, and then the lion got tired and gave up. And the wildebeest
stopped dead in its tracks and started munching grass, with the lion still right there. It was not afraid because
it couldn’t hold a story that the lion was gonna
come after it again. But in the human mind,
what happens is the impulse for fear goes out, and then a very recently-developed
part, the language cortex says oh my God, I’m gonna hold a story of the bad thing that happened, because it could happen again. And then we get this,
the mind creates a story that then re-frightens the lower levels of the brain, which then create more fear that goes into more story,
and it’s a circular process. And that is just the way
most people experience the way life is. When Katie’s talking this
way, I know that some people say well that’s just airy-fairy, or she’s not connected to reality. Actually, my experience, after following you for 20 years, is that you’re one of the
few people I’ve ever met who is connected to reality, because whenever I’ve used
your methods to question my own fear, to get,
because it makes me suffer and I wanna get away from it. It turns out that when
I question the thought and the thought lets me go, I land in the universe you’re talking about, a friendly universe where
everything, literally everything is happening for you, not to you. But that’s so affronting to
people who are suffering. – As we say, I remember, and there was no way out of that, until I just had a moment of clarity that just showed me clearly
that what I’m thinking and the believing, and believing is the cause of all suffering,
the cause of everything created in my world, and it left me responsible to adjust my mind, through inquiry, on any time I wasn’t seeing a beautiful world, then you know, I was believing something that was not true, for me, in particular. But you know, if someone is, let’s say someone says I’m going to slap you, and this fight or flight thing, we defend ourselves, and we think that’s natural, but if someone said Katie, I’m going to slap you, it’s like if I don’t, it’s like they
haven’t slapped me yet, so where’s the problem?
(laughing) And I’m going to slap you. Well where’s the problem? Right here, right now, no
one’s slapping me, I’m fine. I’m fine. So now their hand is
where, it’s that close. It hasn’t hit me yet. Am I fine? Other than what I’m
thinking and believing, am I fine? – Expecting the pain, yeah.
– Yeah. So then when they slap me, why does it hurt? I’m remembering. So I’ve gone from perceiving the future of what’s going to happen. I frighten me, and I
haven’t even been hit yet. And then they slap me,
it lasts a nanosecond, and then I remember it,
so the pain continues. And so, this is where
fight or flight comes from, as we understand, as I
understand now the human race, and more people than I’m aware of, are passing inquiry on these four questions, and turnarounds on, because it ends suffering in
everyone who will just get still enough to meditate
in those four questions. – We just question the
endless storytelling that’s based on fear,
and upon questioning, it falls apart. We even tell stories on the
news about how wild animals live in constant fear of
starvation or predators. I used to believe that,
and then I started living among wild animals, and
realized, without story, without the human mind,
they live in that bliss. – Yeah, we have to, what we are afraid of, we project on to animals, we project onto other humans. And if someone says
they’re going to slap me, it doesn’t mean that I’m
not going to do everything I can to prevent it. And in my world, I’d want to prevent it because I don’t want the other
person to suffer the guilt. We can’t hit someone or hurt someone, in word or deed, without
feeling that guilt within us, and that it’s how the ego, that’s its trick to stay identified, to have a self. It’s a false self, but it’s doing whatever it can to exist, even though that’s an impossibility. Mind cannot exist, you can’t
take it out and touch it, or feel it, or see it. It’s an illusion. – I remember, I asked you once: what would the world be like if like 10% of people were
in your state of mind? Had questioned their thoughts until they’d come out of fear. And I thought you were gonna say oh everyone would sit around in bliss, because I know you do that. You know, left in a chair by yourself, you immediately just are
in, well you’re always in that state of–
– Well we can say I’m really comfortable.
– You’re really comfortable. – There’s nothing real, it’s only imagination that could take that bliss, that comfort, that joy– – Even when you–
– From me. – Even when you had Fuchs’
dystrophy and were going blind, it doesn’t, even when
the body was experiencing what bodies experience, without mind, without
a mind generating lies and being believed, you’re in comfort. So I thought you’d say yeah,
everybody would just sit around, and instead, I
said what if everybody were in this realized mind? “A Mind at Home With Itself”. And you said: oh, people would start acting against injustice. People would start acting against
crime, against corruption. I was so surprised. – Well you know, as I recall, it was, or it felt more like we would all be doing what we can to make this a better world, because we’re not fearing what we believe that
would cost us to do that. So we’re afraid of losing what we have, like comfort, security, pleasure, if I go too far to help
another human being, it can cause me something. Well what if we were aware that we didn’t need that kind of protection, and we really knew that the universe is friendly, and there’s nothing to
stop us from doing good basically, Martha, there’s no, ’cause only fear would stop us. – And then you run to make
the world even better. So if you see the, anything in the world is unacceptable, you can be certain that your mind is confused. And if you can un-confuse
it, bring it home to yourself, what will happen is that you will begin
to change all the things that cause suffering. It is not a state of dumb acceptance, it’s this vibrant, beautiful, active love in action.
– Yes. And in a way, teaching directly out of we live
our, how we live our lives as opposed to how we just talk about it. – As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world. Read all about it here, you guys. Thanks again, see you soon. – Bye-bye.

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14 thoughts on “Everyday Buddhas—”A Mind at Home with Itself” Book Club (5)”

  1. Catissimo says:

    Much <3 to Katie & Martha. I slowed down reading my copy when I saw that you both were doing this You Tube series. Getting so much more, reading along with both of you. THANK YOU for this You Tube series. Namaste!

  2. Marie-Josée Parent says:

    As always, inspiring. Not afraid to love and lose something. The connected feeling of being the friendly universe itself. Life itself. Ohhhh ! I will meditate on this great one. Again, thank you for all your great work/love the two of you.

  3. Lorraine Krane says:

    Thank you…a good way to start the day!

  4. Jared Hickman says:

    Thanks for doing these videos. Love them!

  5. Nicole Simone Alexander says:

    I've just been watching the TV series The Good Place and it reminds me of this.

  6. Susan Wale says:

    I understand this but, what about a person that is being tortured, at war or other places. How, if you are the tortured, can you let go and accept this? How can they say the Universe is friendly for them?

  7. Bhargav Koduri says:

    SO Beautiful .. I read recently .. and I am in heaven with my beloved mind.

  8. arlene c says:

    What about depression? It seems that disrupted brain function makes it much harder to be present.

  9. Twilightsummerbreeze says:

    Katie,, I wonder this about you and Eckhart, also. Do you think when you fell asleep and woke up a new person, is there any way the real Katie made a deal, and said I am moving on, and let some advanced entity walk in your body to replace you and come to help? Because you and Eckhart seem like a miracle for humans to actually accomplish, at the level you and Eckhart have.

  10. Mrs.Bubba Bubba says:

    Thanks for this! xoxo

  11. Jacqueline Mullen says:

    To me this is relieving news as difficult as it is to apply.

  12. M Munroe says:

    Why am I finding Martha Beck annoying? Calm down already woman! You don't need to add drama/emotion to make yourself more (interesting or acceptable or funny or whatever) and you don't need to pretend to be happy.

  13. Eva Astro says:

    I am reading this book since christmas 18

  14. Sarah Patterson says:

    Yes I've lived among wild animals too and the bliss is a lovely thing to witness. Often a rabbit will rock gently in bliss, foxes, wild ponies so present

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