Becky’s Message To Her Book Club


listen up girls this is the friendliest
reminder you’re going to get for book club coming up on may twelfth and I’m not going to repeat myself as
self appointed secretary of the group it’s my duty to keep your lazy asses in
line don’t make me work harder that I want to as a group we chose The Great Gatsby for our first book
review: the author is F scott Fitzgerald in case you’re a
complete idiot and don’t know how to use Google when you come to book club, A: don’t be
a rude dickface and be late and make the rest of us wait
for you and B: you’d better have read the god damn book
and I’m not talking about watching the movie you lazy ass if you haven’t read every fucking page
and every fucking word Fitzgerald wrote don’t even bother coming if you’re even
five pages short don’t bother lugging your fat lard
shell of a body to Kate & Kim’s apartment and I don’t want to hear but but but but
Becky I had to work seven days in a row or
durr totally forgot to get the book you’re a
fucking adult you been reading since you were 4 or 5 or
if you’re like me since you were 3 years old it’s not god damn rocket science it’s
fitzgerald and if you can’t read if you’re honestly
illiterate you need to let me know now so I can
remove your slut face from the group don’t waste my fucking time bitch yes
we’re meeting on Mother’s Day do I fucking care? no we’re having it at 4
p.m. so those if you pussies who need to see your mommies can do it during the
day and leave that shit behind for book club if your mom can’t handle
you leaving her precious brunch at 3 p.m. then maybe you and your selfish puta madre should start your own damn book club and the two of you can fester in your
Adirondack chairs in orange fucking County while drinking Arnold Palmers enjoy fucking fifty shades of grey with your sex starved mom you pathetic loser if you come to book
club and you don’t have one original thought in your pea brain on what
we read all you want to do is get shitty drunk
on wine spritzers and show off your tacky period costume and talk like woo woo I’m so in love or blah blah blah I fucked this dumb guy I will fucking tit hit you into the next time zone don’t
test me I don’t fucking care about your lame
life this is not the time or place this is book club and if you fuck up
book club for the rest of us I will send you so far down a shame spiral you will never return

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15 thoughts on “Becky’s Message To Her Book Club”

  1. Jayne Martin says:

    Haha! Great for Mother's Day video!

  2. AnnabelleLee69 says:

    Okay, OKAY! I'll be there.

  3. William O'Neal says:


  4. Breanne Wahl says:

    Becky's Message To Her Book Club

  5. Jacqui Malpass says:

    Love it!

  6. David Vallieres says:

    A Confederacy of Dunces.
    I see it.

  7. gfa527 says:

    I would totally join this book club to see her go crazy.

  8. HIghballJordan11 says:

    This woman is a genius. GREAT parody.

    She's also beautiful, and VERY sexy when being mean. 🙂

  9. junaidi kristian says:

    wow, she is that serious about her book club. how can i joint it?

  10. Roberta Setzu says:

    You are awesome !! I am totally in!

  11. TheTyranicus says:

    First Rule of Book Club: You do not talk about Book Club.

  12. AdderallApocalypse says:

    "putamadres"!!! LMAO!

  13. gidolf says:

    not sure if amused or bored.

  14. calderone06 says:

    that book is so boring and you won't get fitzg's message if you haven't read any secondary literature about it.

  15. Nathan6EE says:

    I thought I joined a book club not the military.

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